Helping your loved one maintain a sense of dignity can be one of the most difficult and important, rewarding aspects of caregiving.
Take a minute to consider your special role as a familial caregiver. More than a professional caregiver, you know the person you care for. You know the whole person, his or her likes and dislikes, his or her individual strengths and weaknesses, and his or her wants and needs.
It’s easy to slip into a protective role when you care for someone else, especially a family member. But you must remember that unless the person is experiencing some cognitive failure (brain damage because of a stroke, dementia, or other health problem), he or she still makes decisions about his/her life. Sometimes he/she may make decisions that you wouldn’t make, but it is your loved one’s choice. This can be difficult for you as a caregiver; you will need to watch yourself and guard against overprotection.
Among the most important human needs is the desire for respect and dignity. That need doesn’t change when a person becomes ill or disabled. Indeed, it may grow even stronger.
There are many things you can do to make sure the person in your care receives the respect and dignity that is every person’s basic human right.
Respect His or Her Privacy, Physically And Emotionally.
- Close the door when you help to dress or use the bathroom.
- Knock before opening a closed door.
- Don’t discuss confidential information with other people, even family members, without your loved one’s permission.
Respect His or Her Right To Make Choices.
- By making choices we have a sense of control over our life. Let your loved one decide what and when to eat, for example, if able.
- If your loved one has cognitive problems, offer two or three choices of what to eat, when to eat, what to wear. If he or she insists on wearing the same shirt every day, use a protective towel when he or she eats, and wash clothes in the evening.
- If a choice seems silly or unimportant to you, try to see why it may be important to your loved one. Don’t discount it simply because you don’t understand it.
- If he or she refuses to take medication or makes other choices that would be dangerous, try to negotiate possible solutions. Offer pills with a favorite snack (if the prescription allows), agree to give baths only as often as necessary, arrange for someone to take walks with him or her if he or she is unsafe alone.
Treat Him or Her With Dignity.
- Listen to his or her concerns.
- Ask for his or her opinions and let him or her know they are important to you.
- Involve him or her in as many decisions as possible.
- Include him or her in the conversation. Don’t talk about him or her as though he or she is not there.
- Speak to your loved one as an adult, even if you’re not sure how much he or she understands.
Adapted from: Originally written and published by the Aging and Adult Services Administration Department of Social and Health Services, State of Washington. Reprinted with permission. © Washington State Department of Social and Health Services
